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Abstract Academic: Riding my laptop into the sunset

I’m not so good at goodbyes. Actually, I’m not so good at hellos, how-are-yous and everything else in between. Talking to people, really. All that eye contact is hard to maintain. Which is why I have loved — and cherished — this weekly opportunity to talk with you (or at you) about the things that […]

Hi. My name is Kory, and I am a culinary moron. I’ve always been this way. Something about the way root beer tickles my throat just sends me over the edge. I prefer Sunny D to pulpy, fresh orange juice. If I’m forced to choose between eating out at Le Petite Entree and stopping at the Chevron […]

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There are some people out there who abuse the power that they have been given. They think that just because they have an influence over people, they can use it for whatever personal gains they want. As Joe Biden would say, that is malarkey. We need more people in this world with integrity. Take me, […]

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Greetings, friends, ladies and gentle-creatures of the Grand Forest Council. Chairman Raccoon, Vice President Spotted Owl and Secretary Ground Squirrel, I thank you for putting off more popular issues like the new Acorn Storage Initiative today in an effort for me to voice my concerns. I, Thaddeus Thomas Turkey III, come humbly before you today […]

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In a last-ditch effort for this column to be somewhat culturally relevant, I decided to hop on the bandwagon and write about “Twilight.” Now, I have never read nor seen any of the “Twilight” books or movies, but I thought to myself, “Why not report on something I know nothing about? Cable news does it […]

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Looking to score free food whenever I can, I recently accepted an invitation to attend the wedding reception of a close friend. One might wonder, “If he’s a close friend, why did it take free food to get you to go?” Let me explain. I hate almost everything about wedding receptions. Almost, because I like […]

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