December 16, 2012
Why should you, the average high-school senior, decide to attend school in Utah? Here’s why. Utah schools are the tops! Literally! We here at the Organization of Higher Educators’ Council for Knowledge in Utah (O-HECK-U) are always encouraging enrollment at any one of our fine in-state institutions of higher learning. Our motto? “Higher learning in [...]
Has this ever happened to you? You’re a girl (which I know rules out about half of you), and you’re on a date, and the guy pulls into your driveway driving a souped-up, white, lifted Ford truck. He jumps the eight feet to the pavement, kicks the dirt off his dressy Pumas and checks his [...]
Continue reading …Greetings, friends, ladies and gentle-creatures of the Grand Forest Council. Chairman Raccoon, Vice President Spotted Owl and Secretary Ground Squirrel, I thank you for putting off more popular issues like the new Acorn Storage Initiative today in an effort for me to voice my concerns. I, Thaddeus Thomas Turkey III, come humbly before you today [...]
Continue reading …I will soon be a father, and this has made me realize that (1) I am poor, and (2) my current academic trajectory points me toward a life in education, which doesn’t really fix No. 1. So, after I read that there are about 26 million copies of “The Hunger Games” trilogy in print, I [...]
Continue reading …Peer critiquing in the college creative writing process is a double-edged sword. On one hand (this is a double-edged metaphor), someone will pick up your whimpering, fledgling little creation that you painstakingly crafted and politely tell you it is total donkey compost. On the other hand (edge), you get to voraciously tear through another student’s [...]
Continue reading …I was on campus today, running a few errands before heading off to work. As I leaned on the counter and watched the secretary make some notes on my forms, a jerk walked into the office. Now, the word “jerk” is one of those descriptors that gets thrown around these days and placed on people [...]
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