Blunt lesson in Utahnics

A good friend of mine who attends school at Weber State University was recently asked, "Are you Mormon?" by another student in one of her classes. The question had no relevance to the class my friend was taking; rather, it was a character assessment. I was shocked to hear this and yet at the same time it was no surprise. I reminded myself, "only in Utah" does this answer really matter to some people.

What did surprise me were the statements, labels, jargon and criticisms that followed that one simple but complex stereotyping question. If a person answers, "yes" then they are asked if they are an "active Mormon" if for some reason their appearance or character gives reference to any indication that they may not be Mormon. An active Mormon is one who attends church regularly I have discovered, regardless of how they live their personal life. If they are seen in church on a weekly or regular basis they are "active." The same gives reason for individuals to decide for themselves that those who are Mormon but who are not seen at church service on a regular basis are "inactive."

Through discussions I have found that some of the faith may argue that these unfortunate souls need to be "brought back into the fold" with fellowshipping, a Mormon term for friendship. However, I find it interesting that there are always those individuals who are left out of fellowshipping. Perhaps it is the appearance of the individual or the company they keep that prevents many Mormons from fellowshipping certain inactive individuals or non-members -- another Mormon term reserved for those who are not of the faith. Or maybe if we were honest with ourselves we would find that we are afraid to admit that the unfamiliar makes us nervous. If we only understand our own lifestyle, how are we expected to understand and accept others who are different from ourselves, whether it is a difference in religion, race or sex? If Christianity preaches that we should have open hearts, love and accept everyone and not be judgmental, then why is it so important to ask the Utah question, "Are you Mormon?"

I am more than glad I was not in the same class my friend was in the day she was asked if she was Mormon. Others in the class stated that they personally were or were not Mormon, and if they were, that they were either active or inactive. The argument became somewhat heated when a few individuals went as far to claim that they were better than others in the class because they were "active Mormons" and others in the class were not.

My friend is not Mormon. She is not from this state. She found it so hard to believe that this was actually some type of character assessment in Utah and asked me about this odd questioning because, yes, I am Mormon and she knew I would deliver an honest answer. I was somewhat embarrassed by the behavior of those in her class that being Mormon was such an important character assessment.

I consider myself to be fortunate to have experienced both sides of the fence -- being an active and inactive Mormon at different times of my life. For some, there is only one road and that road is being "active." For others, sometimes straying from the straight and narrow has taught us more about life, honesty, integrity, understanding, empathy, compassion and love for others. We are taught not to judge a person until we have walked a mile in their shoes. I challenge those who feel that which religion you are makes you who you, are to walk just one day in my shoes. I promise you will never look at others in the prejudicial way that you do again.