Gamer: a girl's best friend

It's mean to assume all gamers are geeks. Those kinds of generalizations are never true. Plenty of gamers shower, talk to girls and even have girlfriends.

Your mom rolled her eyes at you when she was making your bed this morning. You try to ignore it, but it gets to you. Every time she sees the Final Fantasy or DOA girls destroying each other on your computer screen she rolls her eyes. She just doesn't understand.

For some twenty-somethings, half naked video game women might be the closest they get to a real woman, but not you! At least that's not the attraction. These women rock. They disembowel monsters. You're not objectifying women, because these women aren't real women at all. They are actually objects. Animated objects. A real woman couldn't even stand up if she had those proportions.

It's more of a girl-crush if anything. So what if your alter-ego is female and hot. If anyone has a problem, let them play. You will demonstrate how a girl fights.

Your mother shouldn't fret. This is merely a case of long hair and silky skin envy. Secretly you want to be the sexy feminine characters who fly, wield swords and beat the crap out of the bad guys. Through your skillful fingers, you empower the disproportioned princesses - and you like it!

Your inner woman wants you to kick patriarchy in the balls! Stick it to the man, but you still look manly doing it because you are dominating your friends.

Do you remember the satisfaction of winning Metroid Prime and finding out you were a girl the whole time? And a hot girl! Women all over need to understand what gamers are doing for them. If you look like a video game goddess and breathe death and destruction, men will love you! Dressing in ridiculous see-through silk is just a symbol of how insecure and naked we all are. Deep down inside.

Gamers toil daily trying to shift gender roles and stereotypes. You prove that hot women can be smart and strong. You just hope you will meet one that is all of the above. There is nothing a gamer wants more than to find out your new Halo enemy hellfire345 is actually a real live girl who just got 19 headshots on you. Can you imagine matchmaking leading to real love? You could get married at a halo party.

We've all at one time underestimated the female sex. And we've all been destroyed by a cute little elf druid. Come to find out this hot druid is actually a 30 year-old man living in his mother's basement playing World of Warcraft and he's got six other level 70's. He is in tune with his inner Princess Zelda.